Self Esteem Matters

I mean honestly. In almost every single question I’ve seen. Someone answer’s because they have low self esteem.

Like. Why’d they rob the bank?

They have low self esteem

Why’re they a know it all?

Because they have low self esteem (I’ve actually seen that answer to that question too, no joke)

I mean honestly. There’s more answer’s then, they have low self esteem. I think people say that just to make themselves feel better then other people. It’s all in your mind people. You can say they have low self esteem, but that doesn’t mean it. It just makes you feel like you have a better life then the other people, which probably isn’t true, if you have to keep reassuring yourself by saying other people have low self esteems.

/rant over/

Because they have low self esteem

(you knew it was coming…)

Example: I’m overweight, and because of this, I don’t even try flirting with or wasting my time on guys who are preppy because common sense has shown me what they like. However, when I tried explaining this to my friend she doesn’t seem to get it and keeps insisting I have low-self esteem, but I disagree.

So what is the difference between being negative (or having low-self esteem) and being practical?

I would substitute "being realistic" for "being practical."

Just between us, my experience with what I refer to as "breed standard" women, particularly conventionally beautiful women, is that paradoxically, they tend to have shallow personalities. If a girl learns, at age 4 or 5, that all she needs to get what she wants from a guy is to smile and giggle, she will rarely learn to develop a personality or any deeper social skills.

Occasionally, I have asked a really beautiful woman, "Do you mind if I ask you a personal question?" If no, then, "Does it ever get in your way, being that beautiful?"

Sometimes they say something like, "Yes, other women shun me because they assume I’m stuck up." Or, "Men sometimes do really goody things to get my attention."

Similarly, preppy types are AWFULLY shallow, especially ones with athletic skills. I call them the "one millimeters" because it describes the depth of their personalities.

If that’s a rationalization, I’ll cop a plea. Rationalizations are more important than sex. I mean, have you ever gone a week without rationalizing?

low self esteem means about the same as what we used to call "lacking self-respect." It means that you won’t attempt anything. In order for me to try for a prize, I need to know that the prize is worth working for.

I’m pretty sure that the last paragraph is what you’re looking for.

It’s a rainy day and Laurie has nothing to do. Laurie is so bored that he stumbles across ‘The Creatures of Bored’ who are desprate to play with him

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And act as if it’s all your fault you have low self esteem.

Some other people like to do this to make themselves look better than you, in reality, they are insecure and possibly have a very low self esteem also.
They think they feel better and look better by belittling you.
Try to ignore them, as hard as that is.

**warning**

its a bit long but it goes down easy.

also please remember im not an expert, these are only my opinions on the subject.

dealing with low self-esteem
relationships
name calling
bullying
among other things.

And
DiGiTiLHEALTHY
new weightloss video
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pvfYwxG8DQ0

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To make the question narrower, let’s say how should I deal with a girl who has a very low self-esteem? We’re close friends and we may take this to the next level and form a relationship. IMO this is what we both want to. The problem is that she freaks out when message I her late. It seems that she thinks that I may consider her questions stupid or something.

What is the best way to soothe her and make a balance in our friendship/later, relationship?

Just reassure her that that isn’t the case.
Give her compliment her and make her feel special
I use to have really low self-esteem but it is a lot better now, thanks to my boy friend.
When we started to go out, I was so nervous that he didn’t actual like me, because I thought who would like me?
But he tells me every day that he loves me, and helps me through things I’m not good at, gently and with reassurance.
She just needs to know that she does mean something to you and you don’t think she is stupid
This may take a while, and it may be hard work at times, but her self-esteem with go up and she will become confident.

This person has distanced herself from family (over several years), her husband (they are separated) and his family and many friends and blames others for her problems. Including a husband who (she says) cant do anything right. She has continued cosmetic surgery over the past five years breast reduction, weight, and tucks, finding fault in her looks. On the contrary she is extremely attractive and intelligent. Her low self esteem has manifest itself almost into a false conceit, or maybe a false confidence. How do you get someone help or can point these things out.

Your concern is very touching. I would be interested to know what your relationship is to the woman (girlfriend or wanna be boyfriend) and the only reason I ask is because your approach to her would be different depending on your role. I included two links you can look them over and refer them to her, or you can take the info to heart and help integrate it to her situation. I wish you the best of luck. Here is a brief tidbit about the links I am referring you to.

FIRST one: Review of past mistakes, reclaim your self-control, gather physical strength, and make a plan. These ideas were taken from the first link below – but they make a lot of sense if you think about it. Admit acknowledge the mistakes (don’t assign or accept blame for them) — put yourself (or HER) back in the drivers seat (let her make decisions for herself based on her needs/wants) — become physically fit in mind, body, and soul — meaning eat good, exercise, drink water, pamper herself etc…. and finally make a plan on what she wants her OUTCOMES to be, and what SHE NEEDS to do to make the outcomes a reality. Be there for her and support her, but do not make the decisions for her – give her both pros and cons if she asks your opinion. She needs to be in charge of her life.

The second link is a governmental publication (an ebook) from Health/Human Svc. Mental Health Dept. it has a ton of information.

FREE self esteem Course :
http://www.eruptingmind.com/personal-development/

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