I take things way too seriously even if they are jokes and everyone hates me for it.
it would help if i had someone to talk to who can help me head on with this. Ive tried so many times to build my self esteem but theres always a flaw and i mess up really bad. Please help me. It has me really depressed.
In spite of school and after school programs that try to instill self esteem by teaching kids to pat themselves on the back and repeat, "I am a good person," self esteem comes from achievements.
"Self-esteem is reliance on one’s power to think. It cannot be replaced by one’s power to deceive. The self-confidence of a scientist and the self-confidence of a con man are not interchangeable states, and do not come from the same psychological universe. The success of a man who deals with reality augments his self-confidence. The success of a con man augments his panic.
"The man of authentic self-confidence is the man who relies on the judgment of his own mind. Such a man is not malleable; he may be mistaken, he may be fooled in a given instance, but he is inflexible in regard to the absolutism of reality, i.e., in seeking and demanding truth . . .
"There is only one source of authentic self-confidence: reason." Ayn Rand
"The name Nathaniel Branden has become synonymous with "the psychology of self-esteem," a field he began pioneering over thirty years ago." [from Dr. Brandon's site.]
He and Ayn Rand worked together on "self esteem" in the late 1950s and early 1960s, before mainstream psychology was interested in it.
"The desire for self-esteem without integrity is like the desire for wealth without effort-a longing for the unearned."
Nathaniel Branden http://www.nathanielbranden.com/catalog/splash.php
grow up?
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I know a guy who is kind of like this. Nobody hates him, but it is very annoying. If I were to talk to him about it, I would definitely tell him not to take things so seriously. I wish he would focus more of others and their needs rather than the little things in life that "get him going".
Hey, find what you enjoy doing. Do your best to excel in it. Gain other’s respect. In that, you might gain your own respect.
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Self esteem comes from respecting yourself, basically. Look, we all have personal flaws, it’s just that many people don’t let those flaws get in the way of getting on with life–so being able to laugh at yourself shows that you are aware that you have problems, fears and insecurities just like everybody else. You don’t say how old you are, but I do know that lots of people "grow up" like the other person said, and get along OK. Many times, young people think they’re "weird or strange", but they’re usually normal. Sounds like you need a really good friend to talk about this with, and that you can read a self-help book about this. Also, it sounds like you need to find something you like and are good at, and then DO IT, get better at it, and remember that you have lots of things to be thankful for. If you have any decent relatives, count on them for help, too. Good Luck!!!
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In spite of school and after school programs that try to instill self esteem by teaching kids to pat themselves on the back and repeat, "I am a good person," self esteem comes from achievements.
"Self-esteem is reliance on one’s power to think. It cannot be replaced by one’s power to deceive. The self-confidence of a scientist and the self-confidence of a con man are not interchangeable states, and do not come from the same psychological universe. The success of a man who deals with reality augments his self-confidence. The success of a con man augments his panic.
"The man of authentic self-confidence is the man who relies on the judgment of his own mind. Such a man is not malleable; he may be mistaken, he may be fooled in a given instance, but he is inflexible in regard to the absolutism of reality, i.e., in seeking and demanding truth . . .
"There is only one source of authentic self-confidence: reason." Ayn Rand
"The name Nathaniel Branden has become synonymous with "the psychology of self-esteem," a field he began pioneering over thirty years ago." [from Dr. Brandon's site.]
He and Ayn Rand worked together on "self esteem" in the late 1950s and early 1960s, before mainstream psychology was interested in it.
"The desire for self-esteem without integrity is like the desire for wealth without effort-a longing for the unearned."
Nathaniel Branden http://www.nathanielbranden.com/catalog/splash.php
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One of the hardest lessons in life is to discover that life is not about us. It sounds to me like you over react to any kind of comment that can be taken in a negative way about yourself. Remember no one ever killed the goose that lays golden eggs. Figure out how you can lay golden eggs for people and not only will you find your self esteem raising but you may even discover your life’s work.
Don’t go this alone find an older person you can trust and talk to him about your struggles. Having someone help in the struggle can make your life easier.
Good luck
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Think less about yourself and more about these other people. Life is about having fun. Don’t you want to smile more?
PS I do know what you mean, though – this used to be my life, too. So I suggest you stop repeating the untruth that you take life too seriously all the time. Why not try this, "I laugh when people tell jokes"
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Please google a short piece called Desiderata and read it. It has all the answers for both now & forever in it.
Best wishes.
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